Good evening from my back porch! I hope everyone had a great day and got to enjoy some of God’s gifts. I had an unusual day off today and decided to redecorate and change up my daughters room with her. It turned out to be a great day. Sometimes having teenagers can make me feel like I’m missing my straight jacket! I mean, at times it’s like I’m lucky to get a “hiss” and an eye roll!!! We have had our ups and downs, but I can always still find that sweet little angel hiding behind a hoodie and the infamous “leave me alone”. I know someday I will miss the hell out of those eye rolls… Right? Today I wanted to talk about some of the things we might need to take a closer look at. We will look at 5 of these small changes we could make that can make a positive impact on our relationship with our kiddos. Enjoy 🙂
1. We really don’t have to point out EVERY mistake. We have all heard the saying “Pick your battles! This is so very important!
Now I’m not saying let your child run wild, but sometimes it could be best to let some of the little things go. We as parents are NOT perfect, so why do we expect our children to be perfect?? They are still learning about life, and as we all know, life can be confusing. Focus on the important things and try not to punish or complain about everything. Then we are just mean “nagging” moms in their eyes. I would HATE to have someone following me around pointing out all my mistakes! This constant expectation can quickly convince your child to just stay away from you because they feel like they never please you. Total shut down and avoidance scares me. So remember to make positive “ata boy” comments just as many times as we complain about mistakes. Your child’s self-esteem relies greatly on you! It’s OK to miss a few mistakes they make.
2. Listen!! Really listen to them. When we don’t listen and respond to the little things, they won’t tell us the big things.
Do we really want to sit and listen to a 4-year old talk about a new toy, … for 30 minutes? Probably not! But in that 4-year old’s eyes, this is what is important to them. When they have more important issues at 8 or 13, they are more likely to come to you and tell you their stories because they know you care. Make them feel like what they tell you is amazing!
Once they reach those hormonal years, sometimes we have to take a few smart @ss comments here and there. We must try to remember, there is probably an underlying problem they are working through when this “pissy” attitude emerges. So as a mom I take a little attitude, I have to bite my tongue sometimes, but when they open up about their emotions = priceless. I know they trust me, I know they value my opinion. This means the world to me.
3. Teach your child how to “Love”.
We love our children most of all right? When I say teach them how to love, I don’t mean by loving them. I mean by loving people, sunsets, ice cream, picnics, animals, flowers, traveling, change, friends, LIFE and everything you love. Show them how to love all the little things in life that most people pass by without a thought. I look back at times when the kids were young, and they needed to see this “Love of life”. Unfortunately I was too busy every moment of the day, providing them with all the things I thought they needed, Now I realize I never took the time to appreciate all of God’s blessings and gifts. They didn’t get to see how to stop and notice these things. Life is Beautiful. Show them how to love it!
4. A family is a team, a unit made to work together. Our family is our tribe, it is our way to survive this crazy thing called life!
I’m sorry if this offends anyone, but this is how I feel. Teaching a baby or child to “self sooth” is sad. Yes they need to be prepared for life, but they also need to know their family will always be there. That builds trust and the ability to lean on someone and ask for help when needed. It’s important to incorporate teamwork in other areas such as keeping the house clean as well. Instead of paying or forcing the kids to do house work, raise them knowing that it is a family home. A family makes a home, and the family should care for it together. It is not all on the mom to keep the house clean, laundry done, shopping complete, or toilets scrubbed. Teamwork people! TEAMWORK!!
5. A friendship is to be cherished. I feel like children don’t know how to be true friends anymore. Loyal trusting friends should be loved and appreciated.
Through the adventures of school years, I have seen more drama than there is blue in the sky. Oh lord help this generation. Boys degrade each other like it’s a compliment, while girls will turn their backs on their friends in a heartbeat if it means keeping or upping their social status. Being a good friend is defending them when they are not around, and building them up when they are. Period. Teach your child how to love and protect the people they love, hearts are more important than popularity. If treated with love and respect, a friendship can last a lifetime.
Always remember, It’s important to take time for yourself and to think, talk, or write about your day. 🙂
Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it and can take something home with you and your child, remember you are their number one- their mom ❤